Gundam Wing, Family matters
by Link2dpast
Summary: This is the story version of a bunch of jokes me and my friends made. Since it's not all mine, I can give my opinion! Great stuff! 3rd Chapter DUO!!!!!!!!!!
1. Heero

Gundam Wing, What Happens next?  
  
You've probably already seen gundam wing (although it pales in comparison to the originals, 0079, 0080, 0083, 8th MS team, Zeta, ZZ, and chars counterattack)  
And many of you have probably asked, What happens next?  
Well, certainly not this...  
  
  
Heero...  
  
Heero Yuy walked along the street, carrying two bags of groceries. His real name had turned out to be Alberto malnarde Francesca lousia Bob, Which he decided to keep a secret. He had given up his somewhat controversial look (hot pants and a tank top, BLEAH!) for a wider wardrobe (green shirt, black pants. Green jacket, black pants, Green paint, black swimsuit.)   
As he came to his door, he gave a sigh.  
"I miss my self detonation switch"  
He opened the door with an audible creak, and was instantly overwhelmed by a hoarde of 2nd graders screaming "Daddy!"  
The 1st bag of groceries lay smashed on the ground, while the backup was hidden in the bushes.  
Relena poked her head out.  
"Trowa! Duo! Wufei! Junior! Quatre! Milliardo! "GET OFF YOUR FATHER!"  
Heero gasped for breath as son #3 (Trowa) rolled off of his gut.  
"Sorry sweety, They haven't been outside all day."  
Heero and Relena were married around 5 years after the Events that took place in Endless Waltz. They were not what you would call energetic at night. In fact, it was almost an entire year before anything happened. Of course, with Heero and Relena's horrible luck combined, They were "blessed" with sextuplets. They of course named them after the gundam pilots, Milliardo included. Heero wanted to name them 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. All of them Had blonde hair, blue eyes, and soft white skin. (Kiss my ass Hitler! They're MINE!)  
  
#1 (Heero junior) shuffled up to his dad with his face pointed to the ground.  
"Dad? Can I talk to you for a second?"  
Heero stole a glance at Relena, currently occupied keeping Trowa away from the cookies He knew that she didn't like him parenting.  
"Sure son, step into my office."  
He herded his son towards the garage. He had set up the Zero Cockpit in his car in this very garage. Keeps ya on your toes!  
Heero senior leaned against a table.  
"Shoot"  
Heero Junior lifted up his shirt, showing many bruises across his stomach.  
'The Kids at school don't like me. They pick on me because I'm your son."  
"What makes you think that?"  
"Because our teacher told a very long story, It started like this... Once upon a time there were two men with the same name. One man was a fearsome warrior, while the other was the peaceful leader..."  
"STOP! I understand. So You fit into this story somewhere, and the kids beat the snot out of you as revenge. Sucks don't it."  
Heero junior nodded.  
"Any ideas as to how I'm supposed to make it stop?"  
Heero sat and thought long and hard, scratching his chin and making "hmmmm" noises.  
Heero eventually reached into his desk and pulled a helmet out of the drawer. His voise dropped to a low tone.   
"Here, take the zero."  
"Really? Are you sure?"  
"Yes. Use it to your full potential."  
Suddenly Relena called out  
"Heero! I need some Help here!"  
"Coming dear." whined heero, wincing.  
whitcha! Whipped!  
The next day at school...  
  
Heero sat alone on the bench. His brothers, blissfully aware of what was going on, played on the playground. Heero reached into his lunchbag to get his pudding cup (mmmm Pudding!)  
As he brought the spoon to his mouth, it was cruelly smacked into his eye.  
"Oww! Dammit kyle! You'll be sorry!"  
"HA! What are you going to do? Call your dad and his friends? They ain't so tough without their mobile suits!"  
"I'm telling you! You don't want to start this fight."  
"Oooh! Tough guy! BRING IT ON!"  
Heero shook his head, then reached ito his backpack to pull out the zero system.  
"What's that, A helmet? Are you afraid I'm gonna bust your widdle head?"  
Heero said nothing, and flicked a switch on the side of the helmet. The viewscreen flickered to life.  
A circle of kids had formed around the two combatants, with the exception of Quatre.  
"Miss Catalonia! There is a fight going on! Stop them!"  
"Situations such as these cannot be stopped. Just sit back and enjoy the sh..."  
"Oh fuck you Dorothy!"  
The ORIGINAL quatre happened to walk by with his dog at that moment, and quickly vanished.   
Heero threw the first punch, Narrowly missing Kyle as he dodged it and landed one on Junior's already bruised midriff.  
Heero fell to the ground with a loud "Ohguouf!"  
All the children laughed at the noise, and the fact that he had lost in one punch.  
Hero rose to his hands and knees, Wildly spinning his head, looking at all of them.  
"Are.. Are they my enemies? No, They're just watching. I... I..."  
He narrowed his eyes and stood up, proudly.  
"I'll destroy them all."  
Junior ducked and rolled, linding a double kick to kyle's gut. He then tripped the bully, and used the momentum to jump to his feet. He lashed out, kicking the bully in the face once, and leapt over him to land a hard punch to the kid behind him.  
"CRAP!" screamed several children "He's Got The Bloodwrath!"  
Heero turned to the nearest child and set about pummeling him into a pulp...  
  
Back home...  
Relena was checking her work on her computer. She IS still a diplomat by the way.  
Suddenly the phone rang.   
"Hello?"  
"MRS. YUY! I SUGGEST YOU GET DOWN HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO PICK UP YOUR DELINQUENT OF A SON, HEERO! HE JUST SENT THIRTY SECOND GRADERS AND FOUR FIFTH GRADERS TO THE NURSES OFFICE! IT TOOK TWELVE SIXTH GRADERS TO SUBDUE HIM!"  
Relena sighed. Heero must have given out another zero helmet. This wzas beginning to become a bit of a problem.  
  
Next chapter, Wufei!  
R&R! Please! 


	2. Wufei

2nd Chapter!   
  
I used to do serious stuff, But this is more fun!  
Oh, And I don't own gundam (I wish, I'd be a frikkin BILLIONAIRE!) But I did use parts from 3 model kits to build 2 of my own! HAHA!  
  
Wufei...  
  
Wufei trained in his traditional chinese garden. He had married Sally Po, because she was the only human being that could stand the sight of him.  
He was currently reducing a boulder to a pile of gravel with his bare hands.  
"Yabba..."  
punch  
"Dabba..."  
Chop  
"DOOOOOO"  
Kickpunchthrow  
"Damn Sandstone! Too weak!"  
Wufei started the journey back to his house, Leaping an ornamental lantern, and quickly running across the stepping stones of the small creek.  
He entered his house through a hole in the roof, Being careful not to wake the many young boys who littered the floor.  
He crept over to the light switch and flicked it on.  
"WhoAhOhAhAooooAAHH!!!"  
He hadn't noticed his son hanging from the ceiling fan. The child hung by his toes screaming bloody murder until...  
ffffffWWWWIIIIIIIINNNNNGGG!!!  
The boy made another hole.  
"Damn weak roof!"  
Sally came rushing into the room followed by 14 girls rubbing the sleep from their eyes.  
"What happened Wufei!? Why are there only 20 of your 21 sons here?  
(Chinese joke, No offense.)  
"Umm, uhh, He didn't have a righteous cause? Umm, He was too weak?"  
Sally rolled her eyes.  
"It's getting old Wufei. Where is our son?"  
  
Meanwhile...  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
The boy flew through the air, tumbling and twisting until he connected with a window of a 12 story building.  
SMMMAAAASHHHH  
He landed on the bed of an old man and woman.  
"Herbert! It's one of those Rats again! KILL IT!"  
"Aww Mary, It's just a little chinese boy! Put on your glasses and go to bed."  
"Oh! So it is, Well Goodnight Harold"  
"For the last time Maude! It's Hal!"  
"Oh, Goodnight Harry."  
"Thats Better."  
They both lay back and closed their eyes.  
"Henry! There is a little Chinese boy in our room!"  
"WHAT!? KILL IT!"  
Little Wufei lept to the side as Mrs H. Pulled out a shotgun.  
"Honey, Watch out for that little chinese boy when you shoot the rat!"  
"Ok! Oh foo, I lost the rat. Hello Chinese boy!"  
A big sweat drop formed on the forehead of the young martial artist as he grinned nervously. He ran for the door as fast as his Chibi legs could take him. (By the way, he and all of his brothers and sisters look like their parents Chibi-fied) He tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge.  
"Too weak!"  
(Getting repetitive ain't it?)  
Suddenly, the door burst open, Duo stood there holding a parachute and that little helicopter thing.  
"MAaaann! Little Wufei, Take this!"  
He tossed the parachute to little wufei, who caught it. Duo ran straight at the boy, scooping him up and jumping out the window. He dropped little wufei and activated the weedwacker thing. (what WAS that?)  
He watched the child fall, waiting for the parachute to open, But it didn't.  
The boy bounced (He is chibi after all)  
"Damn you to Hell! Being the god of death has it's drawbacks. Now how do I get down?"  
  
Next chapter...  
Duo, Hilde, 1 or 2 kids, And another cameo, I don't know who!  
  
And If I catch anyone with XXX sites in another window while reading my story, So help me, I'll Command their underwear to chew off their tidbits!!   



	3. DUO!!!!!!

Apologies: School started and I had some comp problems. Sorry about my tardyness.  
  
Standard disclaimer thingie. I don't own anything. Gundam, Mcdonalds, Anything. In fact, I live in a box in the middle of the freeway.  
  
Chapter 3!  
  
The God of Death!  
  
The Sultan Of not.. Being... Alive,  
  
The, Oh screw it!  
  
DUO!!!!!!!  
  
  
"Welcome to McDonalds, Can I take your order?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, I'd like a Double cheeseburger with bacon and everything except pickles, onions, tomatoes, and bread."  
  
"DAMN YOU TO HELL! THIS AIN'T BURGER KING! YOU GET A BIG MAC! Next please."  
  
"Well, could I at least get a supersi..."  
  
"NO! Shut UP!"  
  
Yes folks, Duo Maxwell works at Mcdonalds and he's a damn fine cashier too.  
  
Hey, Where are you going! Come back here and READ!  
  
ahem, 5 minutes later.  
  
"Boss! I'm going home!"  
  
"Duo, you aren't off work for an hour!"  
  
"Wrongo Bossman Spiff!"  
  
Later...  
  
Duo sat on the couch watching an episode of the original gundam series.  
  
"Dude! This kicks ASS!"  
His Daughter, Robin, sat at her desk doing her 1st grade homework.  
The front door swung open and Hilde walked in wearing a suit and tie. She had gone into the salvage buiseness and had cornered the market. (somehow)  
"Robin, Is Duo home?"  
  
"Yes mom, The god of death is back from hell!"  
  
"Duo! You IDIOT! STOP SAYING THAT WHEN YOU GET BACK FROM WORK! It's not that bad!"  
  
"How would you know? Sometimes I wish I worked at K-mart!. Speaking of which, Minimum wage employee battles is on!"  
  
He flips channels until he finds his show.  
  
sam- HA! Walmart is Better! We have the Lowest Prices!  
Bob-Nu uh! K-mart has Blue light special!  
sam- Ha! k-mart NEEDS gimmicks like that!  
Bob-Oh yeah? HIYA!  
sam- BRING IT ON! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYA!  
click  
  
The screen suddenly went into a swirly red and orange image. A face appeared.  
  
both Hilde and Duo gaped at the screen.  
"Marimeia?"  
"Do not adjust your set. We are in control. This message will last exactly sixty seconds..."  
A microphone swung in from off camera and slammed into Marimeia's head  
BOOMskwwwweeeeek  
"OW! Hey you Moron! Be careful! I'm trying to be dignified! Start over!"  
the screen reset.  
"Do not adjust your set, blah blah blah. I rule this colony! we are going to drop it on Earth... uncle Trowa!!"  
The camera fell off of it's tripod at such an angle as to show trowa holding Mareimeia by the collar.  
"Mariemeia! What did I tell you about forceful takeover!"  
"Uhh don't?"  
"RIGHT!"  
click  
Duo and Hilde stared at each other until Duo broke the silence  
"Damn! I missed my favorite part of this episode!"  
"DUO!" "Ok Hilde. I'll shut up. Now let's make SWEET SWEET LOVE IN THE BEDROOM!"  
Hilde and Duo grinned and dashed past their daughter who's eyes grew several times their normal size.  
  
Next time...  
"...No I will not touch you for a dollar!"  
"How about two?"  
"Ok."  
  
Trowa lives with his sister Katherine and His adopted daughter Mareimeia! (yes I know, Didn't happen)  
Who will live?  
who will dui?  
Who will cameo?  
Who will get free munchies at the potato chip factory?  
Most of these questions will be answered in the next episode of GUNDAM WING: FAMILY MATTERS!  
By the way! FIRST FIC WITH MORE THAN 2 CHAPTERS! GET OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!  
  



End file.
